It just seems unusual to me how many people shop at Wal-Mart no matter what hour you go into that store. But more importantly, if you shop there, does that make you one of "them?"
How often do we judge other people silently and with no other facts than first impresson of appearances to base our judgments on, we seem to be able to sum up all the qualities of those around us.
I personally would never do that anymore than I would go out to eat on a Saturday night. In fact, three serial killers and a redneck woman later I finally made it totally in the store had basket and was in route to the pharmacy. Not for prescriptons but for Breath Assure. What a first impression! Now who would have thought that it was possible but with a harsh realization of this little information tidbit, I started to understand that I too was one of "them." Yes, I am a discount shopper. I will drive across town to save three cents on gas. I do have my old favorite clothes and will wear them however mis-matched into the Wal-Mart and if it is summer, sometimes there will be flip flops too.
Sadly, this store is in my community. I might run into people that I work with. Do I want my boss to see me in a shirt that says, "I make my own gas." I could justify that statement is not too bad with prices like they are but when you add the can of baked beans to the message in the big picture it all tends to go downhill.
There is nothing left to do. I will own my status in this society and be proud that I too am a redneckily(if Bush can make up words so can I) dressed discount shopper. I will however not go into a place without first using a comb or a hat.
If I am like those fellow shoppers in appearance, I should consider what really counts. How parallel are our lives? Do they struggle to make ends meet now that almost $300 a month goes to those wonderful people at the oil companies? Do they have elderly grandparents that need help with their house and lives? What about their own families? How many hours do they spend going to ballgames and dance rehersals? Dogs or cats?
If their lives are like mine, then on what can I judge them? I guess nothing. And isn't that the way it should be? How much time do we waste judging people? What could we do with our thoughts if we used them in a more fruitful manner?
Of course, to quote one of those famous writings there is the concept of "Judge not lest ye be judged." Now reading and knowing that simple fact it should be easy to say that I should not judge others on a glance.
Sadly we are all more alike than I want to admit because no matter what I realized I will probably still snap judge in the Wal-Mart and other places just like everyone else. But at least now it will be with fresh breath.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Monday, March 24, 2008
Who is that?
Ok, I am very guilty of this so I have to admit it. I don't know my neighbors. Now that is not exactly true. I know "Biff"(named changed to protect the ignorant) to the right and I know Patsy to the left. I don't spend time with my neighbors. Do you know who lives next to you? Do you care? Why should I? I don't even know you. Wait, that might be it. I don't know them. So what happens to them, their property, etc. means nothing to me.
When I moved into the neighborhood it was still small and mostly under construction. There were only about five of us that lived on the street. At that time I knew my neighbors. Well, I knew enough about them that I was willing to talk in the yard about weed control, all those bugs(who knew they would take issue with houses being built on the open land where they lived), and the fact that there would more people soon.
But as fast as the bugs moved on, the deer quit running through the woods up the hill from me, and my house started to sink the neighbors that I knew moved away. And the only one left is Biff.
Some of you might remember the old days when a moving truck drove up you went out and met the neighbors and made a new friend. Community was a feeling as well as a geographic location.
Is that important? I think it may be. This might be an ever better place to live if I knew people. If nothing more than to say hello and talk about the weeds in the yard.
Someone might even want to hear about the deer that used to run by up the hill.
When I moved into the neighborhood it was still small and mostly under construction. There were only about five of us that lived on the street. At that time I knew my neighbors. Well, I knew enough about them that I was willing to talk in the yard about weed control, all those bugs(who knew they would take issue with houses being built on the open land where they lived), and the fact that there would more people soon.
But as fast as the bugs moved on, the deer quit running through the woods up the hill from me, and my house started to sink the neighbors that I knew moved away. And the only one left is Biff.
Some of you might remember the old days when a moving truck drove up you went out and met the neighbors and made a new friend. Community was a feeling as well as a geographic location.
Is that important? I think it may be. This might be an ever better place to live if I knew people. If nothing more than to say hello and talk about the weeds in the yard.
Someone might even want to hear about the deer that used to run by up the hill.
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Saturday, about 8:00 am
It is another morning. In the last couple of days I have dealt with the death of a former student and that made the rest of life sort of dull. That is when something else came to mind. Not long ago I was riding with a family member and his phone rang. One of his friends was coming to town and thought she was in Memphis but wasn't quite sure. I overheard the conversation and rang in, "Ask her if she is suddenly nervous and feels like she may die soon." He, without a thought of morbidity, passed on my random thought. If you don't live in the Memphis area you don't seem to realize that while gross in nature, the thought goes through all of the local citizens' minds. Violence avoidance has become a regular way of life for those of us in the metropolitan area.
Why? I could give a simple answer of "it is because of poverity" as that is the catch all when someone wants to pretend there is nothing that can be done. Let us not forget that poverty has existed since humans began living together in communities. There has always been rich. There will always be poor. It is just a reality that we have to face and then look at the real reason for violence. Violence and crime are not just concepts that only belong to the poor. They belong to people who are not taught while growing up these things are wrong. I don't mean people aren't telling their children that killing and stealing are wrong. I know that does happen. I am talking about a whole way of life. We glorify violence. And here we go. I know I am about to lose a few people's interest because it is always better to scoff at something then to find a possible rationale to the thought.
We have glorified violence in our media to the point that the more horrific the better thus making us desensatized to the gore inflicted on people daily. Add that to a generation of people who have not been taught to find solutions to conflict and you have makings for a deadly society.
When did this begin to happen? When society forgot that families provide the biggest influence on a child's life. Families aren't following the patterns that have been a proven method to pass on thoughts and teach skills necessary to live in a community.
Here is one beginning to the problem.
One very important factor that has been lost is the "Family Dinner." People will be quick to say that there isn't time to do that anymore. I challenge that. If there has been time for families to meet and interact for many generations then there is time now. What we have to do is make the decision to take back the family and use this daily or several times a week possibility to teach the proper ways to act and react.
Leaders of families will need to do one thing. Commit to doing the right things themselves. It all starts at home. Not with government officials putting more police on the street. It means that moms and dads have to make decisions for their families. Talk. Mentor. Help make better decisions.
At 41 I still get to experience the family dinner as this is the way I was taught by my mother. A single parent she instilled values in me so that I could pass them on to others.
I want to clarify that statement. Values meaning those concepts of what is important to make one's life successful. And value number one was success comes from being a part of a family.
Notice that material needs aren't listed as the most important value.
When was the last time that actions about family importance matched the words? Lip service is detrimental to this concept. Our actions must match our words. If they don't we teach a conflicting message that devalues family and sends people to the streets to learn lessons.
Families are the beginning and will be the end to a problem if we will truly learn what the institution is supposed to do and how important the interactions will be to the development of the children.
Why? I could give a simple answer of "it is because of poverity" as that is the catch all when someone wants to pretend there is nothing that can be done. Let us not forget that poverty has existed since humans began living together in communities. There has always been rich. There will always be poor. It is just a reality that we have to face and then look at the real reason for violence. Violence and crime are not just concepts that only belong to the poor. They belong to people who are not taught while growing up these things are wrong. I don't mean people aren't telling their children that killing and stealing are wrong. I know that does happen. I am talking about a whole way of life. We glorify violence. And here we go. I know I am about to lose a few people's interest because it is always better to scoff at something then to find a possible rationale to the thought.
We have glorified violence in our media to the point that the more horrific the better thus making us desensatized to the gore inflicted on people daily. Add that to a generation of people who have not been taught to find solutions to conflict and you have makings for a deadly society.
When did this begin to happen? When society forgot that families provide the biggest influence on a child's life. Families aren't following the patterns that have been a proven method to pass on thoughts and teach skills necessary to live in a community.
Here is one beginning to the problem.
One very important factor that has been lost is the "Family Dinner." People will be quick to say that there isn't time to do that anymore. I challenge that. If there has been time for families to meet and interact for many generations then there is time now. What we have to do is make the decision to take back the family and use this daily or several times a week possibility to teach the proper ways to act and react.
Leaders of families will need to do one thing. Commit to doing the right things themselves. It all starts at home. Not with government officials putting more police on the street. It means that moms and dads have to make decisions for their families. Talk. Mentor. Help make better decisions.
At 41 I still get to experience the family dinner as this is the way I was taught by my mother. A single parent she instilled values in me so that I could pass them on to others.
I want to clarify that statement. Values meaning those concepts of what is important to make one's life successful. And value number one was success comes from being a part of a family.
Notice that material needs aren't listed as the most important value.
When was the last time that actions about family importance matched the words? Lip service is detrimental to this concept. Our actions must match our words. If they don't we teach a conflicting message that devalues family and sends people to the streets to learn lessons.
Families are the beginning and will be the end to a problem if we will truly learn what the institution is supposed to do and how important the interactions will be to the development of the children.
Friday, March 21, 2008
A Bad Event....This Time The Thoughts Are All That Count.
A family and community lost a wonderful young man this week while he served on a mission trip to the Dominican Republic. The following link is to the website at the university he attended.
http://web.fhu.edu/fhu/index.aspx
Shane you will be dearly missed by all those whose lives you touched.
http://web.fhu.edu/fhu/index.aspx
Shane you will be dearly missed by all those whose lives you touched.
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